The Makings of a Real Woman

I’m one week out from shaving my head. One. You are probably wondering how I am feeling. Am I regretting my decision yet? You might imagine I am, but nope. I’m not. In fact I can’t freaking wait to shave my head.

I’ve been watching a lot of YouTube videos. Being a YouTuber myself that doesn’t sound particularly newsworthy, but rather than sticking to what shows up on my subscription feed, I’ve been searching out women with shaved heads. I’ve seen pros and cons videos, Shave for a Cure promos, and women who decided to give themselves a buzz cut just because.

I don’t even have the words to explain how these videos have made me feel, but I tell you what. Women with shaved heads are bloody beautiful. They are not brave. They are not reckless. They are normal people who understand that hair is overrated. I mean, really. What even is hair?

My four favourite videos from the past week:

Yesterday I hit my fundraising goal. I’ve now collected over $1,000 for Leukaemia & Blood Cancer NZ. It was a great feeling, of course, but I’m going to increase my goal now. I’m not ready to stop just yet. I still have a week to go. I still want more. I’ve listed my ponytail on Trademe, I’ve got interviews lined up with journalists, and everywhere I go I’m telling people, Yeah so I’m shaving my head soon! Most people are cool with it. Some people are weird.

There’s so much pressure on us (women, I mean) to be pretty. For whatever reason society seems to think that we need to try harder to look good than men do. We should get up and do our hair and put on make up and wear nice clothes. We should rid ourselves of any hair that doesn’t grow from our scalp (though we are allowed big eyebrows now, aren’t we lucky?!). We should get manicures and facials and we really should eat less cake, and I don’t know about you, but I’m effing sick of it. I am done. If I want to fart and burp and walk around with dirt under my nails then I’m going to. None of that is what makes me a woman. Why should I have to prove that I’m a real woman anyway?

It’s always been strange to me that in the animal world it’s the males who have to make the effort, while we humans work the opposite way. Male animals are almost always brightly coloured and beautiful, going to great lengths to impress the ladies. I mean, have you seen those boy birds performing their little dance routines? Or the ones that spend months building the perfect little love shack, just for a shot at getting a Yes from a girl? It seems ridiculous to me that men, boys, go around telling women they are gross because they have pubic hair. Come on. Do they really think that denying us access to their genitals is a punishment? Trust me, dudes. It’s not.

One thing I’m always telling my kids is that boys and girls can look, act, and dress anyway they like. My son wears dresses often, and tends to pick out pink or purple over blue or green. That is cool. My daughter rides around on a black and orange “boy’s” bike, and spends hours playing with toy trains. That is also cool. Next week I’m going to shave off my hair, and I may not ever grow it all back again. And yeah, I think that’s cool as well.

To me, being cool is being true. True to yourself. True to your spirit. And my spirit is telling me to just let go of all this hair. So I’m gonna. With or without it, I know what it takes to be a woman. A real woman. And no matter what I look like, that is exactly what I am.

– Fern xxx

Please sponsor me to Shave for a Cure, if you haven’t already!
Or hey, go and place a bid on my ponytail?
All money raised goes to Leukaemia & Blood Cancer NZ.

 

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