• 100 Days Project
  • Sorting Sh*t Out – DAY 100!!!!!

    It’s here! I did it! I sorted my sh*tty way right through to Day 100. Sure, I slacked off. Sure, I played the catch up game at times, but here I am. I made it. I am a sh*t sorter extraodinaire. I deserve a medal.

    No, really. I do. Because today, for my last ever day, I tackled this:




    The garage.

    Now I know what you’re thinking.
    Lady, you already sorted the garage.
    And that is true. You are correct. But the thing is I then continued to sort sh*t inside my home, which means that I found more things we didn’t need to keep. Which means I moved them to the garge. Which means – yeah, you know what that means. It means welcome to my Day 100.

    Because I want you to tell me I’m good, I’m going to tell you all the things I did:
    1. I turned the van around and rearranged all the carseats and made enough space to fit in all our unwanted sh*t as well as two small children.
    2. I loaded all the unwanted sh*t as well as two small children into the van.
    3. I drove to not one, but two different charity shops, because the first one was run by complete weirdos who didn’t want any second-hand clothing.
    4. I swept out the garage.
    5. I rearranged the garage.
    6. I took photos of all the items I’ve been saying I need to list on Trademe.
    7. I actually listed the items on Trademe.
    8. I did other things too but I can’t really remember what, but I didn’t want to stop this list at number seven, because that just felt weird.
    9. Did I mention I did all this while two small children were in my care?
    10. I did all this while two small children were in my care.




    All in all it was a pretty big day. In fact, this has been a pretty big project. And even though I was the one who did all the hard sh*tty work, I want to thank you, the person reading this, for being a person who actually bothers to read my sh*t. I appreciate that, I really do.

    So what now for Fern? And what have I learned? Well, let’s start with the first question…

    For now I am moving on to daily vlogging. Not forever, not long-term (I understand that I’m not actually a famous YouTuber, you see), but for the month of December, or until Christmas at least, I’m going to pump out a new video every day at 8:30pm. This video here is Day One:

    As for what I’ve learned – I don’t even know where to start… I honestly feel like this project has changed me.

    I look at things now and I see them for what they are: Things. Objects. Items.

    I look at mess now and I recognise how it makes me feel: Stressed. Irritated. Overwhelmed.

    I look at the time now and I realise I have it in abundance: You can achieve a lot in a day. A morning. An hour.

    I look at myself and I know who I am. I know what I can do. I know what I will do. I can challenge myself, extend myself, improve myself. I can. I do. I am. I will.

    I dunno. Maybe I got a little carried away there… I’m sure I had some actual concrete lessons to share with you. Ah well. Screw it. It’s Day 100 and I am done.

    My sh*t has been sorted. F*ck yeah.

    – Fern xxx



  • 100 Days Project
  • Sorting Sh*t Out – Day 99

    It’s Day 99. It’s Day 99! I am so happy about this. I am so excited for this project to be finished. I mean, I am a little bit nervous that our house is going to slowly return to its old sh*tty state, but for the most part I’m all, Yessss.

    It’s going to feel good to be done.

    It doesn’t feel good to not be seeing out the last couple of days with something really impressive. But I dunno, I just can’t think of anything really big to sort. So today I settled for Mr. Three’s Thomas book collection.


    I took a blurry photo. That’s embarrassing. But you can kind of see the sh*tty situation. The books were messy and some were ripped and also there were toys in the book drawer that shouldn’t have been in the book drawer.


    So I put away the toys, and I sellotaped up the books, and I organised Mr. Three’s collection into neat little piles. Paperbacks went in the Thomas case. Hardcovers went in the front right-hand corner. Library books got tucked in at the back. Did I need to explain that? Probably not…

    I’ll try and do something spectacular tomorrow.

    – Fern xxx

  • 100 Days Project
  • Sorting Sh*t Out – Day 98

    Remember how yesterday I was all, I’ve pretty much checked out of this project already?

    Surprise! Today I was right back into it. By mid-morning I’d already decided what I wanted to get done. By lunchtime I’d made a start…


    That’s what I was dealing with. One very sh*tty looking patch of driveway, complete with weeds and broken plant pot and pile of dirt and stones. People could see this from the street. How embarrassing.


    But now we’re doing the neighbourhood proud. And I am doing myself proud. Even when I feel like I’ve got nothing left, I manage to do Big Things.


    – Fern xxx

  • 100 Days Project
  • Sorting Sh*t Out – Days 96 and 97

    I’m cramming two days into one blog post again, because the project is almost over so I’ve kind of mentally checked out already. You’d probably do the same, if you were me. In fact, you would do the same if you were me. Because I am me and that is what I’m doing. And if you were me then you would be me, you know? Yeah. It makes sense.

    So anyway, I have done more than two things, actually. It’s just that I didn’t take photos of the vege gardens that I weeded, or the vege bin I cleaned out. Plus those jobs felt kind of nothingish to me. You know, because I’m all on top of things these days. But let’s just get on with this, yeah?

    Okay. First thing. I went to the post office.


    I’d just like to say that I hate going to the post office. But I did it. I got sh*t sorted and I did it. I posted a Super Special Secret Santa gift (eek!) and I posted an Incredibly Important Items package. The important items came from my secret gift cupboard, the cupboard I sorted earlier in this project. The important items are being donated to some important people who are having a tough time in life, and who need some help to have a Happy Christmas. I really like helping people to have a Happy Christmas.


    Now there’s a bit more space in my bedroom. So that’s good too.

    Also good is that I got stuck into the Biggest Kid’s photo album again.


    There were a lot of photos left to sort through. And there was no glue stick. So I just pulled out the double sided tape, and I put Jingle All The Way on the TV, and I got stuck in.

    It took forever (i.e. the entire duration of a PG-rated Christmas movie), but now that sh*t has been officially sorted too.


    Only a couple of days left now…

    – Fern xxx

  • 100 Days Project
  • Sorting Sh*t Out – Days 94 and 95

    I feel bad. I didn’t blog on Day 94. I didn’t blog on Day 95. And now it’s Day 96 and I’m almost thinking that I may as well just give up.



    The truth is that there’s only so much sh*t sorting a person can do, especially if that person is attempting to solely sort physical sh*t in their actual home. I mean, yes, there are still plenty of things I could be tidying up; there are many more fences that could be waterblasted, and gardens that could be tamed, and cupboards that could be re-sorted. But the other half of the truth is that I feel like there’s no point doing the same things over and over, because how am I supposed to blog about that? And if I’m not blogging about it, then why bother? Why?

    The thing is, though, that I actually have been sorting some very important sh*t out. And when I first thought up this whole 100 Days Project idea my plan was to sort all sorts of things: to plan, to write lists, to organise myself. So it’s really kind of dumb that I’ve been choosing not to blog because I’ve deemed my efforts to be not sh*t sorty enough. I have been so sh*t sorty!

    Okay, what did you sort then? I hear you thinking. But you shouldn’t be thinking that, because the answer is obvious. Just look around! I have an entirely new website. An entirely new blog. And maybe for some of you that’s not that impressive, but for me, a person who tunes out anytime she has to read instructions, it is impressive. I worked hard. I bought a new domain name. I figured out how to install WordPress. I even managed to import all my posts from fernp.com over to thefernlife.co.nz, when I actually didn’t even know that was possible. So much sh*t has been sorted! So much progress has been made! I am actually a little bit clever sometimes (I mean, I’m not really, because I had to live chat support three times in the space of two hours, but I got there in the end).

    So this is me being okay with myself and my choices and my work. This is me proudly sharing with you that I chose not to sort any of the sh*t around my home in favour of focusing on achieveing something I’ve been wanting to achieve for a very, very long time. I am happy about that. I am happy about life. My life. The Fern Life. It’s just so goddamn satisfying these days…

    – Fern xxx


  • 100 Days Project
  • Sorting Sh*t Out – Days 92 and 93

    Sh*t I Purchased Recently

    I didn’t write my blog post yesterday. So sue me. It’s just that ever since daylight savings kicked in our evenings have been getting away on us, and that means that sometimes (most times) I don’t even start thinking about sorting my sh*t out until it’s already Very Late. And another thing that happens is that sh*t sorting ends up taking a lot longer than I tell myself it will take. And also I promised the husband I would spend some actual real time with him last night. So basically everything was working against me, and I went to bed without blogging. No ragrets.

    It’s funny though, because I was kind of planning to start this post off by saying that Day 92 and Day 93 were very, very different. But then I realised they were very, very similar, because what happened is that I bought all these things and then I just put them down and forgot about them. So while the actual work was quite different, the origins were the same. All the shopping, all the time. This is how I choose to live my life.

    So yesterday. I decided I’d better sort through all the things I’d bought from Kmart, because they had taken over my wardrobe.


    It took forever and I got grumpy. But it’s done now.


    Oh but wait, there was other sh*t I’d bought from other shops all over the bed too…


    And that is why it took me so long to get it all sorted.


    Today I moved onto less exciting purchases: Bug control systems.


    Will they work? Probably bloody not, but they were on special at the supermarket and so I thought, Why the hell not?

    Ordinarily a good response to that thought would have been, Because you’ll never get around to taking them out of the boxes, woman. But let’s face it, that woman is gone. And in her place is me. Fern. Sh*t sorter extraodinaire.




    I even set up the outdoor one that I’d told the husband he had to do. I’m amazing like that.

    – Fern xxx

    In case you’re interested, in this video I show off almost all the things I bought at Kmart. 

  • 100 Days Project
  • Sorting Sh*t Out – Day 91 (The REAL Day 91)

    My Crafts Box

    Back when I sorted out the bottom half of my linen cupboard, I shoved all my crafting crap into a massive plastic storage box. I attempted to put my sewing machine in with it all, but it didn’t fit. In fact, even without the sewing machine, it was a struggle to get the lid on.


    I was happy enough with this set up at the time, but now that I’m the sh*t sorting queen I know better. I could do better. This box of crafting crap needed to be sorted.

    I haven’t mentioned it before now because it’s kind of embarrassing, but sorting out sh*t like this stresses me out. When I start going through all the crap I own and find that I don’t actually know what the hell I should do with any of it I start getting hot. Really hot. Like sweaty forehead and armpits kinda hot. And then I start to feel irritated. And then, if I don’t manage to stop and think and acknowledge the fact that I am feeling stressed, I end up going a little bit mental.

    Thankfully I didn’t actually go mental today. But I came close. I felt myself get hot and irritated and then I thought, Screw it, just throw this sh*t away.



    The sewing machine is inside that box now. And so is my gigantic sewing machine caddy type thing. And so is a good five inches of empty space, that could be filled but that I’m planning not to fill. Less sh*t, less stress. It’s funny cos it’s true.

    – Fern xxx

  • 100 Days Project
  • Sorting Sh*t Out – Day 91

    The Tomato Plants

    So the truth is I was kind of, maybe, actually planning to cheat a little bit on my project today. You see, I spent most of my day making a Thomas the Tank Engine advent calendar for Mr. Three, and then filming a tutorial for my YouTube channel to show other people how to make a Thomas the Tank Engine advent calendar, and then editing the tutorial I filmed… And I don’t know. I just felt like I had no time. So I thought to myself, Making this advent calendar is a form of sh*t sorting really. 

    But then I shook some sense into myself. I mean, come on! It’s day 91, woman! Just push through! So here I am, pushing myself harder than I really want to, because I promised I would do this. I’m totally gonna do it. Oh and also, I saw my tomato plants and was like, That’s a really easy job. Do that. 


    So I did.


    It’s not perfect, I know. But this project has actually helped me to see that things don’t have to be perfect. You might be laughing at that statement, because my house was a complete sh*t box just 91 days ago, but here’s the thing: I’ve always had it in my mind that if something can’t be done 100% properly then you just shouldn’t do it. I’d never ask the kids to help clean the toilet, for example, because I knew they wouldn’t do a particularly good job of it. As a result, rather than having a toilet become cleaner than it could have been, we’d just keep on using a filthy toilet: A filthy toilet that became filthier and filthier because I didn’t have the time to give it a real, proper clean. WHERE IS THE LOGIC?

    It’s okay, I know. I have very illogical tendencies. But I am learning and I am getting better, and I feel really, truly happy when I say to myself, Hey it’s not perfect, but it’s an improvement. And anyway, when you really think about it, perfection isn’t attainable, but improvement definitely is…

    Go me.

    – Fern xxx

    This is the Thomas advent calendar tutorial I was telling you about.
    You don’t have to watch it, but you might want to? I dunno. I think I did pretty well.

  • 100 Days Project
  • Sorting Sh*t Out – Day 90

    The Girls’ Rooms

    It was one of those days. No, not those days, the other those days. What am I even saying about? Shall we start this again? Actually, nah, I want to go and watch Netflix, so I’ll just keep writing and pretend like I had every single word planned out in my head before I started this post.

    So yeah, it was one of those “I’m sorting sh*t and hadn’t even realised it” days. I sorted out Grubby Girl’s entire bedroom, and had made a start on The Biggest Kid’s room before I thought, Crap, I should take a photo. And that is when I took this photo:


    They say a picture paints a thousand words, but I think sometimes a picture poses a million questions. Like, what the hell is going on? And, what am I supposed to be looking at here? Or, is there a piece of furniture right in the doorway?

    I’ll just explain, eh?

    So what happened is we bought the girls new mattresses. Their old mattresses were really old mattresses. We got them second-hand and they never smelled great. They were also very heavy, which made changing the sheets very difficult. Also, ew. They were second-hand. I know I’m repeating myself, but come on.

    When I buy fancy new things I get all swept up in the excitement of things feeling fresh and clean, and I end up wanting to make everything else around me fresh and clean. Before I knew what was happening, I was moving all the furniture, and dusting all the nooks, and washing all the windows, and mopping all the ceilings. Yes, mopping. I mopped the walls too. And then we vacuumed and we rearranged and we decided we’d get rid of the oversized dolls house the girls never play with anyway.

    And that is when I took this photo:


    It doesn’t even look that good, but trust me. It smells amazing.

    – Fern xxx

  • 100 Days Project
  • Sorting Sh*t Out – Day 89

    Miss Eight’s Photos

    Well, I tried…


    Miss Eight’s pile of photos was ten times bigger than her siblings’ piles of photos combined. There were double ups. There were triple ups. There were a crap ton of photos that only an insane first-time mother would have ever bothered to get printed…

    The truth is that I ran out of patience. And glue. But I made a start, and I think we all know that that’s the most important step in the sh*t sorting process. Right?


    It kind of feels like I’ve taken a step in the wrong direction though…


    Yeah. I need to go to bed.

    – Fern xxx